Grand Junction

I decided to write a detailed account of my impressions from my first area as a missionary in Colorado. Of course, this isn't everything that happened in my training process, but the important stuff. A dear dear friend of mine (aka the greatest roommate in the world) was my inspiration for this. So thank you Sandra.

           I remember sitting in the chapel in Grand Junction after driving for four hours from Denver. There were SO MANY missionaries. Sister Joslin and I had complained the entire time how this place looked like Utah and we were NOT planning on staying here long (since us greenies had SO much control over that).  The next thing I knew they had called my name and announced who my trainer was. They instructed me to get up and sit with her on the other side of the chapel. It was the embarrassing walk of shame where every missionary’s eyes were on you as they watched you awkwardly embrace your new companion; the person you would be spending every moment with for at least the next six weeks. Sister Pearson was tall, which intimidated me. Missionaries cheered when they announced her name, so everyone must love her. I immediately loved her because of that. She looked like she had experience. I remember singing the opening hymn next to her and looking over at her as she intently sang the hymn. She was focused and would whip me into shape. I felt terrified, but happy. At the end of the meeting I followed her around like puppy as she gathered everything we would need for our new area. I had heard everyone say we were whitewashing but I had no idea what that even meant. (I didn’t have the courage to ask Sister Pearson what it meant until about three days in the area).

            We got in the car and drove to immediately to our apartment on B ¼ Rd. Sister Pearson and I did the standard get to know you questions while she played the Nashville Tribute Band. The first song was “Children Go Where I Send Thee.” I thought it was so incredibly strange that there was country/folk music written about Lehi’s dream, Alma and Amulek, and a baby born in Bethlehem. Then I thought, “Where the heck am I?” I am in a dry, desert, Utah looking place listening to this crazy music that my trainer was singing along to. OK—difference in music taste, I can work with that if that’s the worst thing. (And with Sister Pearson, that was the ONLY worst thing, which was pretty darn great).  Our place was one large studio apartment where the only room with a closed door was a bathroom. Sister Pearson told me Elders had lived here before us so it might not be the cleanest. I didn’t care, I saw the bed and immediately wanted to collapse, but off to Wal Mart we went where we bought a GPS and other groceries we would need for the week. I remember thinking this felt like college grocery shopping, something I was looking forward to escaping.

            We role-played every day and I hated and dreaded it. I didn’t mind role-playing OYM-ing (street contacting) because Sister Pearson and I were equally bad at it. We would do it outside in front of our mailbox because it felt good to get out of the house. I remember a specific role-play where we were facing each other on our armchair couches. Sister Pearson kept asking me the same question over and over again and I didn’t understand why she kept asking because I WAS answering it correctly.

“Why do I need the gospel?”

“Because it will make you happy.”

“No, why do I need the gospel?”

“BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY FOREVER.”

“I am happy with my life. Nothing more can make me happier. Why do I need the gospel?”

At this point, I was bothered, frustrated, and done. I remember thinking she was just trying to be difficult and ask me dumb questions to stump me. **(Sorry Lexis, it gets better I promise).**

            This bothered me for days. Why do people need the gospel when they are perfectly, contently happy? Would I even need the gospel if I didn’t know any better? I have a testimony, but only because I was raised with it. I know it’s true, but what makes it true? I’ve felt the spirit, I know God lives, and I’ve seen miracles, but why? How can I help others see it when they haven’t had exposure like I had? WHY did I have a testimony? I didn’t ever doubt, I just wanted to understand why I was feeling like I had a testimony but not able to explain to others why they needed it. These seem like questions that can be answered simply by doctrine; people need the gospel to accept the Restoration, be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost, and live with God in His kingdom.  BUT HOW DID I MAKE THE PEOPLE I TAUGHT UNDERSTAND THAT. These thoughts consumed me every day. So much that faith in myself became almost nothing. I had never prayed so much for understanding.

            Thinking about this today, I can’t exactly put my finger on what revelation I received/ what ultimately changed me except for TIME. I did receive a blessing at the time which gave me the strength to just keep diligently studying and acting on any prompting I received. The blessing also said I would not just endure being a missionary, but ENJOY it. I remember swinging. Swinging the bat and not even caring if I missed. Running up to people and having absolutely no idea what I was going to say. Acting on the strongest prompting to ask an eighty-eight year old inactive woman if she wanted to work towards going to the temple. Boldly telling a less-active man that the church is literally God’s kingdom on Earth, and that if we don’t attend church we are not prepared to live in God’s kingdom. Pulling over the car and sprinting in the snow to give a jogger a pass along card.

            It was ultimately my trainer’s question that motivated my progression as a missionary. I will be forever grateful for her Christ-like pushing to make me better. I eventually found myself singing along to the Nashville Tribute Band, helping a Born-Again Christian farmer plant all of her grapes, realizing this place was NOTHING like Utah, and absolutely loving it for the next six months. I soaked in the beauty of Grand Junction and knew for sure that I was exactly where God intended me to be. My only purpose was to teach doctrine and love the people. I knew that if I did that, my understanding would grow. I learned what I already knew; you need the gospel to allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to cleanse you, to live with God again and have pure joy and ecstatic happiness that is indescribable. You need it because I know I need it, and we are all God's children that are equally valuable. And there is so much more that God has in store for us. I know it because I've felt it and witnessed it.